Saturday, July 10, 2010

Stuff I don't love...

Oh the joys of living in a condo...now I admit there are many great perks and our condo is beautiful however, there are a few things that can be an annoyance. One of the biggest ones is "the garbage situation". When you live in a condo taking out your trash is bit more inconvenient. You have to bag it all up and then drag it down to the trash room. The journey to the trash room is a pain because we have the worlds slowest elevator and when it finally shows up, I ride down and then have to try to maneuver my way through the two heavy fire doors that await me outside of the elevator. Then I must make my way across the parking garage to the trash room which always smells bad and the door locks behind you. This is a real pain in the ass if you forget your keys or if your key breaks off in the lock (which has happened to me). As a result of this inconvenience I admit that I have on occasion been lazy and tied the garbage up and put it on the deck to take out later. My husband, on the other hand LOVES to do this particularly since I have reiterated to him many times that the garbage is a 'man' job which he refuses to accept. I am all for equality but garbage is gross and I hate dealing with. Besides, I clean the toilets...I think that is a good trade.

For those of you living in Victoria, you will know that we are currently having a heat wave. This does not mix well with leaving a bag of trash on your deck. That is exactly what my husband did and forgot about it...for a few days...in 30 degree (Celsius) weather. So, this morning I got up and opened the doors to get some air flow in our very hot condo and was greeted with THE WORST SMELL I HAVE EVER SMELLED! I have not smelled death before but my guess is that this is what it smells like. Sweet and rancid and almost vomit inducing. Of course, I was home alone when I discovered this so, lucky me, I got to take care of it. As an added bonus, our considerate little wiener dog chewed a hole in the garbage bag at some point and so not only was the smell seeping out but also some rotten food and an unidentifiable liquid grossness. I cursed Will and Penny (the wiener dog) as I gathered up some trash bags to put the fallen bag in and then (of course) I had to make may way to the trash room hoping that I would not encounter any of my typically unfriendly neighbors or the gay couple down the hall who always look so impeccable. The adventure did not stop here though as the liquid grossness that I am pretty sure was the source of the death smell was all over the corner of the deck where we store our recycling. Twice more I had to make that dreaded trip down the the trash room praying each time that no one would be in the elevator. I did not want to have to share or explain the revolting stench that was emerging from the underside of my recycling bin. I lucked out and was fortunate enough to evade my neighbors each and every time. Nevertheless, they are probably questioning what the hell that putrid stink is in the elevator. For that I apologize.

Finally the trash was gone and the recycling bin thoroughly sprayed off but I still had the liquid grossness on the deck to deal with. First I threw buckets of water over it hoping the warm liquid would carry the grossness away. It did not. (Again I did get lucky as there is no one currently residing in the condo below us so there was no one to complain as liquids ran off the sides of my deck) Then I tried a bottle of vinegar hoping that the acids in the vinegar would eat up the stink. It did not. Instead it smelled like vinegary death. Yay. The next choice was the winner. I found a can of Comet powder and sprinkled, no, dumped it all over the parts of the deck that had been befouled and let it sit. I returned a half hour later and poured buckets and buckets of water over the powder and scrubbed it with my sponge mop (which I am sure needs a new head now) and I think I now have a mostly odor free deck...finally.

As a result of this situation I am implementing a new rule in our condo: NO TRASH ON THE DECK. My husband owes me big time!

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